Here's a checklist to help you identify if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship. Recognizing the signs is the first step in reclaiming your power.
Emotional Manipulation
You’re constantly made to feel like your emotions are "too much" or invalid.
They twist conversations to make you doubt yourself or feel guilty.
You’re constantly apologizing to keep the peace.
They use the silent treatment and emotional withdrawal to punish you.
They gaslight you and make you question your memory.
They rarely celebrate your successes and undermine your confidence when you do well.
Isolation
They discourage you from spending time with family and friends.
They monitor where you go, who you speak to and what you do.
They make decisions that affect you both without consulting you.
You feel like you’re walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them.
They use phrases like “I’m doing this for you” to justify controlling behaviors.
You feel lonelier now than you did before meeting them, even when you’re together.
Undermining
Sarcasm, "jokes" at your expense and backhanded compliments are common.
They belittle you, your dreams, achievements and even your hobbies.
They dismiss your needs and priorities as insignificant.
They blame you for their bad day, bad mood or anything else going wrong.
They call you overly sensitive and tell you that you're “just imagining things.”
They rarely apologize—and when they do it’s a way to manipulate, not repair.
Energy Drain
You’re often exhausted after spending time with them.
They demand constant attention and their needs are more urgent than yours.
They dismiss your need for self-care as selfish.
You’re handling the majority of the emotional labor in the relationship.
Being around them feels draining instead of uplifting.
Your passions and goals feel harder to pursue because their needs and crises dominate your energy.
Financial Control
They control how finances are managed and give you little say.
They make you feel guilty for spending on yourself, even if it’s something essential.
They pressure or coerce you into giving them access to your finances.
You’re dependent on them financially because they discouraged you from earning your own income.
They frame this as “helping” or “protecting” to disguise their controlling behavior.
Diminishing Your Worth
They’re quick to anger but expect you to stay calm, collected and forgiving.
They compare you to others, making you feel inadequate.
They withhold love, affection and validation as punishment.
The relationship has a “take, take, take” dynamic, with little reciprocation.
They exaggerate their own problems and downplay yours.
You feel worthless and unlovable.
If these signs resonate it’s essential to remember:
Emotional abuse is real abuse.
No one deserves to be manipulated, diminished or controlled—including you.
Reaching out to a trusted friend, therapist or support network can be a critical first step.
Consider building an exit plan if the situation feels unsafe or unbearable.
Healing is possible, and freedom is within reach.
You deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, love and respect.
If your relationship makes you question yourself more than it supports you, you owe it to yourself to take steps toward reclaiming your joy.
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